Essays from West of 98: Essential Empathy
Last week, I shared my top 12 books of 2020. One such book was “Team of Rivals: the Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln.” I penned this essay on Facebook in 2020 as I finished reading “Team of Rivals.” As a follow-up to my books essay, I wanted to share with the West of 98 newsletter these thoughts on the power of Lincoln’s empathy.
The story of Abraham Lincoln is well traveled. We all know about his tough upbringing in frontier poverty. We know about his self-made success as a lawyer. We know about his triumph over personal and professional loss, culminating in his election as President of the United States in 1860 and ending with his eventual assassination. Our country regards Lincoln as one of our greatest Presidents (perhaps the greatest). On the surface level, we talk much about what he did—abolish slavery and preserve the Union—without talking enough about HOW he did it or WHY he was able to accomplish it.
The HOW and the WHY become apparent with any deep reading in to Lincoln’s life. It all boils down to a single word: empathy. Lincoln had a remarkable talent for understanding the feelings of other people, from his friends and subordinates to his rivals and enemies. This was undoubtedly an innate skill, but Lincoln also placed great importance on using empathy as a leadership tool and applied it over and over, even to the detriment of his own ego.
Lincoln’s empathy is most evident in the acclaimed book “Team of Rivals” by Pulitzer Prize-winning historian Doris Kearns Goodwin. This books details the story of Lincoln and the members of his Cabinet, three of whom had bitterly contested him in the 1860 Republican primary (Attorney General Edward Bates, Secretary of the Treasury Salmon P. Chase, and Secretary of State William H. Seward). These men had lost to Lincoln at their highest level of public achievement (and in some cases, deeply resented Lincoln), but Lincoln sought their advice and counsel to lead America through its darkest hour.
Empathy is disarming. A person can become filled with hatred for a rival or an enemy. They treat them as the “others” with whom they have nothing in common. Lines of communication are lost. We fail to appreciate or even acknowledge one another’s humanity. Eventually, we turn the “others” into an ogre that is the cause of all sorts of problems, real and imagined. And yet, when your supposed enemy or rival is actively working to understand your feelings and the decisions that come from those feelings, it becomes much more difficult to maintain that hatred.
Empathy is encouraging and uplifting. When Lincoln’s subordinates made mistakes (sometimes critical and deeply damaging mistakes), Lincoln publicly supported and encouraged them. He often volunteered his own judgment as the source of the mistake. There are also numerous accounts of Lincoln taking dangerous visits to battlefields, which changed the mindset of dispirited, beleaguered soldiers. Lincoln’s empathy strengthened the resolve of those who were affected by it.
Perhaps most importantly, empathy has the power to change hearts and minds. Long before he waded into the vicious debates over slavery, Lincoln was involved in the angry national debate over temperance (abstinence from alcohol). Lincoln advised temperance advocates to avoid “thundering tones of anathema and denunciation,” because it would only be met with more of the same. In short, Lincoln knew that if you yell at people, they will simply yell right back and you will not accomplish a thing. Lincoln knew that, no matter how honorable, right, or just that your cause might be, condemning an opponent would only cause him to close his mind and heart. Without empathy—understanding a person’s feelings and beliefs—you can never win their heart. Lincoln wrote that the heart was “the great high road to reason.” To win a person’s mind, you must first win their heart.
How important is that need to win hearts and minds? If a person truly cares about leading in an effective manner, it is absolutely crucial. Lincoln knew it was his most important responsibility. He wrote that “with public sentiment, nothing can fail; without it, nothing can succeed. Consequently, he who molds public sentiment, goes deeper than he who enacts or pronounces decisions.”
Lincoln said it better than I could possibly say it. It is one thing for an elected official to take an important action. It is an entirely different, better thing for an elected official to take the same action at the behest of the people.
As you know, I’ve been writing lately about the need for better leadership in America. Without question, an absolutely essential component of that better leadership is empathy. If leaders do not have empathy for their people, it might be time for new leaders.
James Decker is the Mayor of Stamford, Texas and the creator of the “West of 98” website and forthcoming podcast. Contact James and subscribe to these essays at westof98.substack.com.