Essays From West of 98: Loved and Needed
A word on mental health and uplifting one another
Trigger warning/author’s note: this essay discusses difficult topics like suicide.
I don’t think I have ever *wanted* to sit down and write an essay about suicide and mental health awareness. Frankly, it would be concerning to me if I did relish the topic. Alas, it has been a while since I wrote one of these essays. Something has been nagging at me for days that this had to be this week’s topic, regardless of my other pending writing ideas.
Maybe it is because today (I’m writing this on September 10) is World Suicide Prevention Day and the month of September is National Suicide Prevention Month. These events were created to raise awareness on the topic of suicide prevention and to provide information and outlets for help for those in need.
Maybe it is because it seems like the world is spinning faster and faster these days. We are constantly hit with a firehose of information about the news, about the world around us, about everyone that we’ve ever met that has a social media account. Trapped in a cycle of checking, scrolling, re-checking, and scrolling some more, we see it all whether it is healthy for our brains or not. We see how friends and casual acquaintances appear to be doing perfectly awesome with nary a care in the world. We “follow” celebrities who have it even better. We see how other friends and acquaintances are struggling and we feel sadness or empathy. We read about the latest natural disaster or other catastrophe that sweeps across some far-off land and snuffs out far too many lives far too soon and that upsets us.
Maybe it is the crush of expectations, demands, bills, and more. The rent is too high. Interest on a mortgage is too high. Utilities are too high. Groceries are too high. The only things that don’t seem to be skyrocketing upward are wages and our quantity of free time. Legendary songwriter James McMurtry wrote a song in the early 2000s called “We Can’t Make It Here” that is something of a protest against everything wrong in America: economic globalization, hollowing out of rural and industrial communities, maltreatment of veterans, drug addiction, the struggles of single mothers, and more. I am working on a full essay devoted to just that song, because I listened to it a few weeks ago and it rang truer now than it did when it was first released. I’m not going to say that life is “harder” now than it was in prior generations, because in many ways it is not, but McMurtry outlines why it is hard in a very different way now. Talk to any working person who is trying to make ends meet and do everything that needs to be done, especially a single parent.
Maybe it is the utter feeling I have that self-interested politicians and bureaucrats care less and less about individual places and communities. We are told to put our faith in the tribe of a red team or a blue team, but neither of those teams gives a darn whether our communities live or die. They just do not. But if you could give them a donation before you die out, they would appreciate that. They need it to save the world from the other team.
Maybe I’ve seen more people this year discussing National Suicide Prevention Month and I feel heartened by the awareness and the willingness to discuss it and I want to lend my voice to that topic as part of the rising tide.
Maybe I have just talked to too many people over the years who have really struggled with their mental health for some or all the reasons above or for their own individual reasons. Despair is a lonely, miserable, and difficult place to be. Despair comes from a lot of places. Sometimes it is the chemical makeup of our own brain. Sometimes it comes from the external struggles in our life, like some of the things I just mentioned. Sometimes it is a combination of factors. Regardless, it is a bad place. It causes us to make rash and often unhealthy decisions. It leads to substance abuse and addiction, taking a coping outlet too far until it becomes a problem itself. At its worst, despair leads you to believe there is no solution but to exit the stage altogether. That’s when you start down the path of suicidal ideation, imagining and contemplating the topic. Some reach that point and pull back or seek help. Others continue down the dark road until they are unable to pull out. Our world has lost far too many people of all stripes—youth, parents, farmers, business owners, artists, old, and young, and more—to the scourge of suicide because they could not pull back and were unable to seek help or felt helpless to do so.
Dadgummit, friends. There are a whole lot of things in life that drag us down and make us feel like the weight of the world rests exactly right on top of our shoulders. If you are feeling that way, I see you. I am here for you. Sometimes, life can suck or feel way too hard. Those are acceptable feelings. But today, I ask you not to despair. Do not go down that dark path of despair and all that it might lead to. Reach out to someone. Ask for help if you can. The world is a better place because you are in it, even if you don’t feel like that. People love you and admire you, even if you do not realize it. You are loved and needed.
Be well, friends. Love one another. Love yourself, too. It is hard, nay, impossible to love others in a difficult world if you do not love yourself. Life is hard and the world can be a mean and ugly place. We need to uplift one another at every chance. Rural communities are too small to survive without our love for one another. Check on a friend. Send an acquaintance a random text or social media message to wish them a good day. Buy somebody a drink. Commit a random of kindness. People need to know they are loved.
Note to my readers: if you are struggling, please seek help. If you do not have a safe outlet for help, then call or text 988 or visit the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988lifeline.org. Trained counselors are available 24 hours per day to help.
James Decker is the Mayor of Stamford, Texas and the creator of the West of 98 website and the Rural Church and State and West of 98 podcasts. Contact James and subscribe to these essays at westof98.substack.com and subscribe to him wherever podcasts are found. Check out the West of 98 Bookstore with book lists for essential reads here.