Essays From West of 98: The Helpers We Need
WARNING: this essay contains difficult topics.
There’s a lot going on the world right now. Much of it is difficult or saddening. Our screens—televisions, phones, and other devices—flash it in front of us, whether we want to consume it or not. Fred Rogers, star of “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood,” famously gave wonderful advice for children dealing with tragedy or crisis. He said, “when I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say ‘look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’” It makes sense. When something bad happens, it reassures a child to see someone make it better. That is true at every level, from a parent fixing a scraped knee to heroes responding to an international crisis. That helps explain why superhero possess such childhood appeal. There are bad people doing bad things in Gotham City and Batman will fix it (Batman is the greatest of superheroes and I will take no further questions on the matter).
As an adult, this advice hits differently. It is reassuring to see helpers in action, but children generally look to adults as the helpers. So, who do adults look towards? It is us. WE are the helpers.
I have written a fair amount about mental health and I will continue to do so as long as I write these essays. September 10 was World Suicide Prevention Day, about which I have written several times. This year, I stopped to consider the reasons why people feel pushed to the brink. Suicide and suicidal thoughts do not arise out of nowhere. Mental illness preys upon us at our weakest points. Our country has seen a drastic rise in suicides and suicidal thoughts since the pandemic began, for the same reason why the Great Depression saw a massive rise in suicide (particularly among people who were ruined financially) and why rural America sees an epidemic of suicides when the farm economy turns bad. There are many causes and I am no expert. But research shows that overwhelming despair and hopelessness plays a role in far too many suicides.
On September 10, I read a thoughtful commentary on suicide prevention. It observed that true prevention requires more than merely saying we want to prevent suicides. Let me stop right here and say this: If you are struggling personally and don’t have an outlet for help, please call 800-273-8255 or visit suicidepreventionlifeline.org right now. Do not wait. If we want to truly eradicate this scourge of suicide from our communities, we must get to the root cause, particularly that despair and hopelessness. Which brings me back to the helpers.
Rural author Wendell Berry wrote in 1990 that “a human community, if it is to last long, must exert a sort of centripetal force, holding local soil and memory in place.” This force tied the community and its people together and the collective ties made each of the constituent parts stronger. Berry observed that cultural dynamics (everything from entertainment to manufactured goods to advertising) exerted the exact opposite type of force—centrifugal—pulling people away from local community and from one another. As communities pull apart, people place less emphasis on supporting local businesses, schools, and one another. They send their children away, never to return. The community and its people are collectively weakened.
Berry wrote that people should look for hope and renewal within rural communities, not because rural people were more virtuous, but because they were keenly familiar with the experience of being left behind by the economy and they still possessed a remnant memory of the community-building power in local soil and local memory. I can’t shake the feeling that restoration of community is an antidote to the despair and hopelessness that has consumed far too many of our friends, neighbors, and families in our communities.
We saw this in Stamford just last week, as our downtown square was filled with cars Saturday night for an impromptu “cruise night.” It brought back memories and nostalgia for older residents. Young and old alike built new memories. Above all, it built community. Even if just for a little while, it seemed that people’s cares went away. I don’t have all the answers, but I know this much. The world needs helpers and it needs us to be the helpers. We cannot fix every problem that flashes across our screens, but we can start locally. We should focus on the causes of despair, hopelessness, and worse within our communities. By doing that, we are the helpers to those in our lives. We strengthen them, we strengthen our sense of community, and we provide renewal and hope that the world badly needs to see.
James Decker is the Mayor of Stamford, Texas and the creator of the West of 98 website and podcast. Contact James and subscribe to these essays at westof98.substack.com and subscribe to West of 98 wherever podcasts are found.