Essays From West of 98: Thy Will Be Done

An important lesson from Jayber Crow

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The Agony in the Garden, Benvenuto di Giovanni, 1491

I don’t like to think of myself as an anxious person. I don’t feel like one, whatever that means. But there are moments in life where I am waiting on something—a return phone call, a piece of information, a task that needs concluding—and it becomes impossible for my mind to focus on anything else until that matter is put away. I am good at multitasking in general, except in these unique moments. Then, my mind fixates almost singularly.

As I waited on the evening of May 4 to receive the results of Stamford’s mayoral election, I had one of those moments. I could see it coming. I knew my brain was going to fixate, so I looked for a useful outlet to settle my mind, lest I just stare blankly in to space all evening. It seemed like as good of a time as any to start re-reading “Jayber Crow,” Wendell Berry’s longest and most famous novel. I’ve written about my love for this book before, so I won’t rehash that territory other than to say that if you wonder why my mind works how it does, and why I am such a passionate believer in my community and for rural places at large, “Jayber Crow” explains most of it.

I won’t spoil too much of the book if you’ve never read it, but the eponymous town barber spent some time in his younger days at a seminary. Given his hard upbringing and the nature of his personality, Jayber was given to asking questions to understand his faith, rather than merely accepting and reciting scripture like a robot.

There’s a scene early in the book where his thoughts and questions all come to a head:

But the worst day of all was when it hit me that Jesus’ own most fervent prayer was refused: “Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will but thine, be done.” I must have read that verse or heard it a hundred times before without seeing or hearing. Maybe I didn’t want to see it. But then one day I saw it. It just knocked me in the head. This, I thought, is what is meant by, “thy will be done” in the Lord’s Prayer, which I had prayed time and again without thinking about it. It means there’s a good possibility that you won’t get what you pray for. It means that in spite of your prayers you are going to suffer. It means you may be crucified.”

Prior to me launching back in to “Jayber Crow,” I had started a routine of reciting the Lord’s Prayer¹ whenever I had trouble falling asleep or coalescing my thoughts in prayer. A person can never go wrong reciting the Lord’s Prayer too often. I am not sure exactly how long I have known the Lord’s Prayer, but I turn 40 next week and I’ve known it for most of those years. But Jayber got me to thinking about those vital words in the prayer—“thy will be done.”

These words come early in the prayer. They can seem like a sort of preamble to the specific requests that come later, but they are not. They underpin the rest of the prayer and, frankly, any other prayer that a person might offer. Many years ago, a pastor taught me to pray for specifics in my life if I felt led to do so, but to never let those specific requests override seeking God’s will. I have never forgotten that.

It was no accident that this all came to me on a night where I needed an antidote for my anxiousness. But like last week’s writing, an important instruction is not necessarily an easy instruction. As Jayber points out, there’s a good possibility that our prayers might not be answered in the way that we want. We should adjust our expectations accordingly. Our wisdom pales in comparison to God’s wisdom. Seeking this wisdom for our lives, whether in a leadership role or merely in our own daily affairs, is vital.

Thy will be done. That’s what matters. Whether we like it or not.

James Decker is the Mayor of Stamford, Texas and the creator of the West of 98 website and the Rural Church and State and West of 98 podcasts. Contact James and subscribe to these essays at westof98.substack.com and subscribe to him wherever podcasts are found. Check out the West of 98 Bookstore with book lists for essential reads here.

1. If you start looking at the translation of the Lord’s Prayer found in Matthew 6:9-13, you’ll find that the most well-known Bible translations deviate in some notable ways from what you likely know as The Lord’s Prayer (NIV here). I did a bit of research and it appears that the version many of us learn as children (and the primary one uses the exact language “thy will be done”) actually comes from the traditional language set forth in the Episcopal/Anglican/Church of England’s (I’m not getting in to those distinctions) venerable Book of Common Prayer. Insert “The More You Know” graphic from 1990s NBC eductional programming here.